During last night’s Republican debate, insane doctor Ben Carson was making a point about Muslim immigration that was the equivalent of doing brain surgery with a sledgehammer: “If you’ve got ten people coming to your house and you know one of them is a terrorist, you’re probably going to keep them all out.”
Dr. Doom followed this up with an insightful thought, “You know, we probably have to figure out a way to make sure that we keep America safe.” Good thinkin’!
There’s not too many ways to take Carson’s hateful hypothetical other than “blatant Islamophobia” and “unadulterated Islamophobia” and “this guy actually thinks (or wants you to think) that 10% of Muslims are terrorists.” Unless Carson routinely invites a bunch of people over and 10% say “I am a terrorist” on the RSVP, his comparison has no basis in unmedicated reality. It’s just another way to scare the GOP’s coveted demographic of terrified, pasty, confused grandpas.
But what what kind of bullshit is Carson’s 10% tale?
I’d say it’s claptrap.
Of course, just about everything spewed during a debate is technically claptrap, since getting the crowd to clap is a sign you’re pandering well. But this ludicrous scenario is claptrap aimed directly at the lizard brains of the audience, using lizard logic that goes something like this:
“Terrorists are heading to your home, right now. They’re hopped up on hummus and banging on the windows. Therefore, Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Also, Muslims are bad. Hssssss.”
If only Carson’s math skills were as charming as those of Brian Fantana, who famously said of Sex Panther cologne, “60% of the time, it works every time.” Come to think of it, Fantana would make a good Republican running mate. The GOP has to woo the ladies somehow, don’t they?