During last night’s Republican debate, orange supervllain Donald Trump had some tough talk regarding a popular form of torture: “I would bring back waterboarding, and I would bring back a hell of a lot worse than waterboarding.”
Well, it is the age of reboots, but I wonder what Trump has in mind. In his douche-lizard brain, what’s worse than waterboarding? Drawing and quartering? Polio? Slavery? Netflix’s version of Arrested Development? But I guess Trump could bring back whatever he wanted, since the President is an all-powerful king who never needs to make compromises or concessions, making His Schlongness the perfect fit for the job.
But what kind of bullshit is this?
I reckon it’s guff.
This term originally referred to actual hot air, before it became the kind of hot air that blowhards and bloviators expel. It also rhymes with tough and has a pseudo-tough connotation. People say, “Don’t give me any guff!” They don’t say, “I am really impressed by your guff. I believe you will do what you say, just as I shall carry out thy will.”
Threatening to bring back waterboarding and worse is textbook guff. Trump isn’t bringing back diddly-squat, especially not anything watery and terrible, despite unconfirmed rumors that his running mate could be a leviathan.